if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
