lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
