How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
