nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
