I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
