Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
