the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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