Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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