u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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