You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
