Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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