Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
