Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
