careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
