i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
