And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize