just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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