My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
