I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
