I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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