As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
