I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
