So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
