yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
