We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
