Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
