fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
