If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
