I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
