im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
