One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
