I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
