what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
