If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
