So gin and wine won't be happening again
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
