Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
