so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
