plz talk dirty to me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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