i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
foreskin is a definite game changer
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
