I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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