Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
