There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
