i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
