He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
