I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
