We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
