dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
