when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
