and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
jump out the window naked night went bad
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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