you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm bleeding and have questions
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