I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
